Wednesday, 3 June 2015

Endometriosis And New Beginnings

I know I won't be alone in these thoughts on this subject.. Endometriosis and a new relationship.. 

What do you tell them? How much do you tell them? When do you bring it up? 

A million questions have been overloading my mind lately as I start a new chapter in my life. The last few weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind for me. A good one! But, fast moving, exciting and terrifying all at once. The scariest part of it all is how endometriosis will impact everything. Right now, it is behaving. But we all know how quickly that changes.

I don't want my life revolving around Endo. It has taken over way too much of it already! Now, I have started enjoying my life again, I'm terrified it will be snatched away to pain once again.

I have shared The Spoon Theory with my new boyfriend, who was extremely understanding about it. Which actually made me feel so much at ease. I have explained a few of the symptoms. He knows I get 'bad days' and that i'll need rest and hot water bottles. As with anyone though, until they see you in pain and having a bad day, endo is pretty much indescribable. Yes we can list off all the symptoms and the technical terms, but to know how it really affects us has to be seen. This is an experience I do not want to happen any time soon! But at the back of my mind, I know it eventually will. You can never escape Endo for too long.

I guess the only answer is to take one day at a time. With honesty and hope. We never know how we will be from one day to the next, so planning how/when/what to say is pretty irrelevant, I suppose? Endo is so unpredictable, so I will go with the flow. 

#MyEndoDiary

Endometriosis: Highs & Lows

How do you go from feeling like for the first time (in a long time) you're actually living your life and having a great day with friends and family, enjoying life and generally having fun... to less than a week later (or even a day!) being curled back up in bed crying with the pain, praying the stronger meds will kick in? At one moment you get hope, clarity and life, with a big sense of normality. The next minute, you're faced with pain, upset and darkness, with no sense of it ever being normal again. Why does life with endometriosis have to go from one extreme to the other? 

I've been thinking of how we react and cope during such low times. The lows can definitely become more prominent than the highs. Or is it because when in those situations, we focus all our attention on the rare high days? Which makes us feel more lost than usual and back at square one when they are quickly snatched away. 

How do you mentally find a balance when there is no way of controlling what endo will do next? Physically, we must rest. But emotionally?

I was once given a great piece of advice. When you are having bad days, it is important to find some positives and not focus on all the negatives. If you only have two good days but five bad in a week..  then flip it. Realise you have had two good days! That's great! You could have had a whole week of badness. If that is the case, then good things can be found in the smallest of things. We should celebrate them! 

Having a chronic illness is hard enough to deal with. We do not need to put extra stress on ourselves.
What tips do you have to battle the emotional lows that come with endo? Please share!!