Breaking point came today whilst in the supermarket. It was packed, my cramps had started from the moment I got out of bed. Walking around the supermarket I was surprised people wernt giving me funny looks as I stood in one place holding onto the trolley to try keep me upright. It was hard to walk. Got to the queue to pay when they came worse. I could feel my face going bright red from the pain.. I had tears strolling down my face because the pains and cramps were so strong and sharp it instantly brought tears, whilst trying to act normal at the same time. I don't think it worked. I could see a few people looking over as I was trying to stop myself from crying anymore. I was so humiliated. How embarrassing. I am so grateful my mother was with me so I didn't feel completely mad. As I have been writing this I have had to stop a few times, shut my eyes with my head in my hands waiting for the next waves of cramps to pass.
I could sit here asking 'why me?' but why not?? What makes me so different from others not to suffer from this. No one deserves it. There should be a cure for Endo and I find it ridiculous that at this time the only way to diagnose it still is by surgery and there is still no cure. More and more I find myself getting totally frustrated when my endosisters and I are going through unneccesary pain every day! Added onto the stresses and strains of daily life that everyone has, we also have deal with endo. A word that can be shortened but unfortunately the same thing cant be done with the pains or reality of it.