New Chapter...

So, it's been a week and half after my second Prostap injection (similar to lupron/zoladex) and I feel (dare I say it...??) FINE! :) Great actually.. Someone asked me this week how I was feeling and I answered 'happy'..I had to double check it was me who wrote it! I even caught myself singing on the weekend! ;) Wow! It's honestly been the best I've felt in over a year! I was umming and ahhing whether to write this blog or not because I didn't want to 'jinx' myself and set myself up for a fail. But I come to the conclusion that it's definitely something to blog about, a cause for celebration! Don't get me wrong, I still at times feel awful. Mind of a 23 year old, body of an 80 year old with all my aches, and I still get days when I can't even bring myself to get out of bed. Other times i'm wide awake til stupid o'clock in the morning, only to sleep a few hours then BANG! Wide awake again. I still need to take painkillers, have backache and my stomach still hurts...BUT....it doesn't last all day! It comes and goes. Manageable! I've even gone once this week without taking any painkillers all day. If I was told this six months ago I would never have believed it. No chance. Zero. Zilch! I would have laughed in your face (or most probably would have cried - yes I admit now i've been slightly emotional these last few months..) Even this time last week when I literally slept in bed all day, had to be woken up by my mother to make sure I ate something, then went straight back to sleep, I wouldn't have believed it. I physically couldn't do anything that day. I think it totalled to 36 hours I slept for. Really think it was my body's way of screaming at me, "STOP! SLOW DOWN!" Helping me to heal. Well it helped lots!

This week, I have had a night out with my three best friends, got to wear my new dress, I even DANCED!! Shocked myself there lol! I'm not quite dancing on the tables yet, (my legs currently ache too much and i'd most probably get stuck on the way up!) But i'm working on it lol. I have been for a beautiful walk around a whole lake, not half of it then stopping due to pain! And I've worked one shift. I've even painted my nails..! I normally wouldn't have gone a day without putting my nail varnish on or changing the colour - I think it's been about four months, shock horror!! But this week im back on top of it! Bright Pink! Yes, I know it's only something small but I havent had the energy up until this point to do it or even care. I've even had two people tell me that my stomach seems to have gone down. This is one of my major symptoms with endo; swollen stomach. I hate it! It literally became really swollen overnight in June last year and just decided to stay. To the point of looking five months pregnant and none of my clothes fitting. Of course I put forward plenty of opposition, but it didnt listen. Endo has a mind of its own. The last few weeks i've been taking water tablets and now for two people on two separate occasions to mention they can see the difference in my stomach - I felt like jumping!! I've also realised this last week that there are certain people I dont need in my life.

"Some people make your life better by walking into it, others make it better by leaving..."

I may have learned this the hard way but at least I've learned it now. Moving onwards and upwards it's been a great week, tomorrow also is my last day in college, EVER! I'm then a qualified childcare worker and i'm soo excited about the new possibilities it can bring. To get a new job that I will love and not hate going to each day..still dreams at the moment, but they're starting to get closer :) This feeling may not last long but I decided to write this blog to remind all of us that the next time we're having bad days that there really are better ones to come. It's just over two weeks until my next injection. I'm really not looking forward to feeling as horrible as I did after this months one again, but I think i'd rather have two or three bad days then twenty nine good/manageable days to follow. Better than feeling ill every single day like I have been. Gotta be worth it in the end, right?! Here's to hoping & new chapters for all of us.

#MyEndoDiary